The last two weeks of
July and all August were just a battery of tests, consultations, treatments,
and the hip biopsy to determine if, in fact, the tumor growing there was
associated with the Adenocarcinoma. It was/is. So by this point all
the Aces I had up my sleeve were gone. Also gone was any thought of finding any
“cure” that I had only heard of the previous week. But, as it seems to be with
any catastrophic disease that hits a person, it certainly made me reach to any
form of Hope that presented itself in front of me.
There was still a lot
of confusion, guilt, and general mis-trust in the whole medical team that was
being formed around me, especially when a patient is associated with such a
large medical institution such as Ceders-Sinai. You do get some personalized
serviced, but as I began navigating the entrails of that medical center I found
myself feeling more of a patient case number than a patient. I mean, that there
were so many protocols to follow that in the end I just became another case number
with which they would be able to manage my condition. Those TV commercials with
the CS staff saying they’ll bring you balloons and cheer you on is generally
bullshit. Or perhaps not, but I didn’t see it…
July 14, 2016: My
first visit to the Oncologist was bitter herbs. Her bedside manner was so dry
that I didn’t care for her from the beginning. After we discussed what Stage 4
really meant she ultimately just insinuated that I may not be long on Earth…
Me: “WTF, Then
how long DO I HAVE?!”
Onc: “Well, only
the Man upstairs knows…”
Me: "Jesus
Fuking Xrist! Is that a sanctioned medical answer?”
Onc: “I mean
we need to first get the biopsy identified, treatment schedule, etc… Don’t give
up yet…”
Me, under my
breath: “Fucking asshole…”
Onc: “Would
you like me to refer you to a case worker…?”
And just like that:
July 18, 2016: CT SIM
of my Lungs & Hip.
July 21, 2016: Painful
Hip bone Biopsy.
July 21, 2016: Brain
MRI.
July 25, 2016: 1st Chemotherapy.
During this session I was told that the Hip biopsy tested positive for the
Adenocarcinoma, STAGE 4 confirmed.
July 27, 2016: Cancer
Orientation: Chemotherapy & You.
July 27, 2016: 1st
Radiation Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
July 28, 2016: 2nd Radiation
Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
July 29, 2016: 3rd
Radiation Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
August 1st, 2016: 4th Radiation
Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
August 2nd, 2016: 5th Radiation Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
August 3rd, 2016: 6th Radiation Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
August 2nd, 2016: 5th Radiation Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
August 3rd, 2016: 6th Radiation Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
August 4th, 2016: 7th Radiation
Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
August 5th, 2016: 8th Radiation Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
August 5th, 2016: 8th Radiation Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
August 8th, 2016: 9th Radiation
Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
August 9th, 2016: 10th Radiation
Therapy to my Lung & Hip.
August 20th, 2016: Coughing up Blood… fuck me…
Called the Big Casino Radiation Dept:
•Radiation Oncologist: “It’s normal to see any type of blood discharge, especially after radiation. We’ll just monitor to see how the on-going treatment continues. But by this point your regular Oncologist will be quarter-backing the rest of the way…”
•Me: “I haven’t seen any scans or know what is really going on. Please show me any images that can help me comprehend what is going on…”
•Radiation Oncologist: “Well, the horses pretty much stormed the barnhouse….”
•Me: “What horses…?”
•Radiation Oncologist: “The Cancer has spread and is already within your blood stream. In essence, now it’s a monitoring game. Seeing where the Cancer will metastasize. A Cat & Mouse game…”
•Me:
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